DELHI BELLY: Movie Review

Two minutes into the movie, you see a semi-covered bottom sleeping on a bed.

A running tap in the bathroom, a cockroach running around the house, and a semi-covered bottom once again.

Shocked?

Five minutes later, you realize that was nothing.

Delhi Belly is full of rude, disgusting but a delightful humour. In fact this author is dying to write the jokes that follow but on second thought, may never be able to forgive himself on revealing those in this public forum.

The movie is about three friends – Tashi, Arup, and Nitin living in a filthy bachelor-pad. Tashi, a journalist, is to get married to his girlfriend in a month. Arup, a cartoonist, is frustrated by his boss constantly criticizing his work. Nitin, a photo-journalist, just takes funny and lusty pictures. All hell breaks loose when Tashi’s girlfriend gets accidentally involved in a diamond smuggling racket and movie deals with what happens aftermath.

Delhi Belly thrives on shock value, will be saying the least. Each 2 minutes every inch of your body gets jolted with what you see, and yet you can’t help yourself from laughing. Jokes involve anything and everything from sexual content to bathroom humour. They repulse you – yes, but are funny and amusing nonetheless.

The movie boasts of sharp-storytelling with something or the other happening every minute, keeping the audience engrossed and never a moment to relax, Add to that the movie is less than 2 hours long (which is a miracle in normal bollywood terms).

Imran Khan gives a moderate performance, since his character does not even try to be funny. The lion’s shares of jokes are taken by Vir Das and Kunal Roy Kapoor. Be it Vir’s take on Mithun-style dancing or Kunal’s constant case of diarrhea, it is their awesome acting skills that take these scenes a notch-up from the script.

The weak point in the film, and I am really sad to say this, is Aamir Khan's song in the movie. Neither is it funny, nor does it serve any purpose. Maybe the makers had already realized this and decided to place it at the end of the movie.

What struck me later, as my friends were discussing, was whether this would spurn off a series of similar movies in the near future. It is a scary thought. Too many movies of this kind may take the charm off.

All said, kudos to Aamir Khan, Abhinay Deo and Akshat Verma for having the courage to come up with this movie in Bollywood.

ROBOT: Movie Review

Ok, first things first. I have hardly watched any Rajni movie. Last one I watched was Chandramukhi, and honestly it was a complete turn off for me. The only reason I went for Robot was that my roomy wouldn't let me sleep that day.

And I am glad that I didn’t sleep that day.

The movie is about a scientist Vasi (Rajni), who spends years of his life in building a Robot. After initial hiccups, he successfully does so. The robot (Rajni) is brought out to the world, and voila, there are flaws in Vasi's creation brought out by different instances. The robot cannot understand feelings, does not understand 'aurat ki izzat' and blah blah blah. Don’t worry, Dr. Vasi has solution to all the problems. He actually injects feelings in to the Robot. And before you know it, the Robot falls in love with Aishwarya Rai(Oh Damn! I knew I was forgetting something here. Aishwarya is Dr. Vasi's girlfriend ... and ... ermm .. well that’s it, that’s all you ever get to know about Aishwarya).And now ladies and gentlemen, the trouble starts. And you have to watch the movie for that, because this review can never do justice to what unfolds in the screen henceforth.

Don't get me wrong. The movie isn’t as crazy as it sounds. It’s actually fun to watch.

Somewhere I had read that this movie did not have a 'Rajni entrance'. And boy, was I relieved. Robot jumps to the point directly, wasting no time in any unnecessary business. From the first scene where we see Rajni building a Robot, you know Sankar is already into the story.

Sankar not only manages to bring out a story with a sensible narrative pace, but also brings forth visual effects that leaves you spellbound. Hats off to Rajni's imagination especially in the second half. The seamless migration between key plot points and visual effects is thoroughly enjoyable never going out of place in either case.

Onto the performances. 'Robot', as expected, belongs to Rajnikanth. He effortlessly brings out different personalities in the 2 characters - Vasi and Robot. It’s commendable how he has brought out the range of emotions in a mechanical character as Robot. Aishwarya, on the other hand, looks pretty, dances well, and .. well .. looks pretty. Danny is reliable as usual.

If there is something that I didn’t like in the movie, then it would have to be the placement of songs, especially 'Kilimanjaro', which really tests your patience. In fact, the whole movie could have done without any of the songs.

My advice: Watch the movie in the theatres and enjoy the roller coaster ride!!!!

KAMBAKKHT ISHQ: Movie Review

Amrita gets farted on her face ... Get it? ... It’s funny!!
Akshay runs his cart over a girl and the girl gets badly injured.... Get it? ... It’s hilarious!!
Kareena is a virgin.... Aren't you ROFLing already??(Well, at least Akshay Kumar was)

If you haven't noticed, KAMBAKKHT ISHQ is a comedy film. And hence you are supposed to be laughing while watching the movie. Only, all I could do was cringe in my seat every 10 minutes. Calling the movie crude and absurd will be an understatement; it gives a whole new dimension to vulgarity in bollywood.

What’s the story?.... Oh, come on.... don’t ask silly questions. If you insist, uh ... let me see whether I can work out one from what I saw in those 2 and half hours. Amrita Arora and Aftab Shivdasani want to get married to each other. But Kareena(a model) and Akshay(a Hollywood stuntman) do not want them to do so. So, they slap each other for the next half an hour. And for next one hour they curse each other and ya, slap some more. And before you know it, Kareena loses her watch inside Akshay while performing a surgery on him. Please ... don’t ask me to make sense of the rest.

This movie is supposed to be about 'battle of sexes'. No problems with that. In fact 'Hum Tum' had a similar theme, and it had driven its point well. The problem is how the whole thing is treated in 'Kambakkht Ishq'. Since when is slapping girls funny??I mean, seriously!! And honestly, rather than 'battle of sexes' the movie seems more like an 'ego-trip' for the guys (Sorry guys had to say it). The supposed battle ends when the gal apologizes for being a 'stuck-up bitch'. (Yes ladies, those are the exact words she uses.) That’s the least of its problems. The jokes couldn’t be crasser. For instance, An Enormous African American woman literally gets her hands inside Akki's backside. And later when he walks strangely and somebody asks what’s his problem. He says a*****e. (Get it??Those who want to bang their head against the keyboard are free to do so)The movie is filled with so-called crappy jokes which not only make you run for an aspirin, but also make you wonder how low the standards of bollywood comedy is coming to.

If you are wondering what those Hollywood actors shown in the promo do. Brandon Routh is hardly there for 2 minutes. Sylvester Stallone has a couple of scenes - One in which he gives an award to our wonderful hero, and second in which a bunch of baddies try to molest Kareena and Amrita and he saves the gals by bashing them up (Hmmm ... now where have I seen that before?) and Denise Richards wears good clothes, looks sexy and keeps wishing she could have babies with Akshay.

On performances - Akshay hams, hams and hams even more. Kareena is totally wasted. Amrita Arora looks every bit of a dumb bimbo. Aftab is totally confused. There is Jaaved Jaffery too, though I am yet to figure out why the hell was in the movie.

I was never a fan of David Dhawan comedies, but after this I have a new respect for him. This movie is a total insult to your senses. Someone told me that this movie is meant for people with no brains. Me thinks, this movie is just not meant for any human being.

NEW YORK: Movie Review

Ladies and Gentlemen, the wait is finally over. After months of torture, comes a movie which has finally made me smile. ‘New York’ isn’t just a piece of good work but a movie with perfect balance between sensitivity and sensibility.

‘New York’ is a story of 3 Indian friends residing in New York. It shows the cute relationship that they share with each other and how 9/11 attack affects that and changes their lives eventually.

From the first frame, the movie hooks you completely. As the movie mainly deals with the interaction between 4 characters – John, Katrina, Neil and Irrfan - it doesn’t waste time in any unnecessary details, thereby quickly establishing the basic characters. And once it does that it quickly jumps to the main plot. In fact ‘New York’ boasts a strong screenplay, hardly seen in bollywood in recent history. There is never a dull moment as things keep happening one after the other where each scene is used to carry the story forward. You blink and you may miss a crucial scene. Plus, the movie provides a smooth flow from a sensitive scene to a thrilling scene to a suspense scene.

I loved Kabir Khan’s work in ‘Kabul Express’ and in this one he goes a step forward, as alongside dealing with real issues, he manages to get the audience to relate with more complex emotions of each character. He manages to keep the movie realistic, never going overboard which is a refreshing change from the usual bollywood crap. The movie maintains a serious mood throughout, with subtle humorous scenes which are very few and far in-between. The characters seem like those which you could have met in real life, hence you easily tend to smile or sympathize with each passing scene.Thankfully, the movie is devoid of any singing and dancing routine – all songs play in the background, which only enhances the mood of the movie. The only thing that didn’t gel with me was the climax (I do have some issues with it but considering this is a so-called review .....)

John’s performance seems to be improving with each movie and so is his choice of roles. Katrina gives her most impressive performance to date. Neil is good. Irrfan is natural.

Yash Raj Films hasn’t had a hit in a while. Hopefully this movie will change their fortunes. ‘New York’ is a good movie. Go and watch it.

KAL KISSNE DEKHA: Movie Review

WHY GOD, WHY??? What sin have I committed that I decided to watch this movie!!!

After many months a bollywood biggie released (Apparently it took 34 crores to make this one, so yeah it IS a biggie) and THIS is what bollywood had to offer!!! Seriously, whats wrong with these people???

The movie tells a story of a boy - you know someone who dances well, sings well, fights well, has a good body, is kind to everyone, helps the needy – the pakka bollywood hero. He joins a college in Mumbai. There he meets a girl – who is rude to people, selfish, insensitive to others ... err you get the drift. The guy makes her right, falls in love and before the movie ends, the guy saves the city too. Oh, did I forget to mention??... the guy can see the future!! (So kal kissne dekha?? ... duh! Our hero ne dekha!!)

Leave sense, leave logic ... This movie hammers your brain to a pulp. Whole plotline makes no sense whatsoever. In first half, the ever-so-nice guy is busy winning the girl over with his ever-so-niceties; in the second half, he is busy saving the city from a bunch of terrorists. And the future-vision element is to help the writers push the story without bothering to give a logical explanation(not that you expect one after 15 minutes of the movie). Each scene is frustrating. The romance track seems forced into the story, so is the college bash track, so is the terrorist track...err ... on second thought, every scene seems to be forcibly squeezed into the plot. The director has obviously tried to put in all the bollywood masala elements but it neither makes you laugh, nor cry, it just makes you wanna bang your head against the wall.

Needless to say, this movie was meant to be nothing other than a launch pad for Jackky Bhagnani. My opinion - He can give a tough competition to Tusshar Kapoor (and if my future-vision is right, he succeeds!!). Vaishali hardly has any scope to perform. Rest of the cast is wasted.

Sigh, only if I could have seen the future and saved myself from those two tormenting hours.

13B: Movie Review

I have never been a fan of scary films - for the simple reason that they do not scare. At best, they turn out to be cheap thrillers. But 13B stands ahead of movies of its genre. No, it doesn't scare, but it’s definitely more than 'some cheap thriller'.
13B tells a story of a joint family of 8 that moves in to a new apartment, where inexplicable things happen to them. These things seem to duplicate a new TV show which the women in the family are hooked to.
It has an interesting premise. In fact, first half is engaging as the events are mostly those that can happen to anyone, the paranormal connection being the exact resemblance with the T.V serial. Of course, it’s our hero Madhavan who discovers the connection, rest of the family being dumb fools. There are other instances too, such as a dog too scared to enter the house, or a Nokia phone that insists on taking his weird photos whenever used in the apartment, or an elevator that simply refuses to work whenever Madhavan is in it. But as things begin get more fatal, he sets out to solve the mystery.
It’s the explanation that’s quite disappointing. It’s usual run-of-the-mill stuff. As second half comprises of explaining stuffs in a roundabout manner, it becomes tedious after a while. Moreover, the mystery and the explanation do not have a well-reasoned connection.
On performances- Madhavan does a fine job. Rest of the cast has hardly anything to do.
Thankfully the movie is devoid of the usual bollywood formulas (you know, like an age old abandoned mansion, or tantric mumbo jumbo) It treads a slightly different innovative path, which manages to hold your interest in parts.13B is a good movie, not great. My favourite part in the movie – the elevator. Believe me; it has a superb sense of humour.

LUCK BY CHANCE: Movie Review

Hindi Film Industry is growing, and 'Luck By Chance' is a shining example. Or else how do you explain Hrithik Roshan doing an almost small parallel role against a main lead by Farhan Akhtar? Or the climax (Well I can’t reveal it here, but watch it and you will know what I mean)? Each scene in the movie is a part of an intelligent story telling which grabs your attention in more ways than one.
The film follows the life of 2 wannabe actors - Farhan and Konkona. Both strugglers meet each other in due course of time and begin a relationship. How Farhan achieves success and how that affects the relationship forms crux of the movie.
LBC gives an insider’s view of the film industry. The movie takes humorous and sarcastic digs at the industry but what stands out is the sensibility and sensitivity with which it is done. And that’s mainly due to its characterization. All lead characters in the movie are complex and grey. They compromise on their principles for their desires. But you don't hate them for that, you realize they are human. The characters and their interactions appear real, thanks to smart dialogues which are short but effective. Also small details in the movie are well thought out which sometimes surprise you.
If there is one thing that works against the movie then that is its sluggish pace. It is not noticeable in the second half as lot of things are being shown then, but same can't be said about the first half. But once you overlook the flaw, you realize it is necessary to maintain the narrative style of the movie.
LBC boasts an ensemble cast. Konkona gives another striking performance. It stays with you even after you leave the hall. She brings out various layers of her character naturally. Farhan looks the character and underplays quite well. Hrithik looks every bit a star. Rishi, Juhi, Dimple give splendid performances. Isha is adequate.
Luck By Chance is not the usual hindi commercial movie that we know. It is much ahead of its peers. It is a quality cinema with an ingenious narration. It makes you think. It makes you connect. Kudos to Zoya for making ‘Luck By Chance’. Bollywood is definitely evolving.